Some of us may be in a situation where we feel as this quote says: “No one will ever be as entertained by us as us”. You have friends that constantly keep you going and laughing! Or “good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone”. So you have those friends that are always by your side no matter what you do. Or maybe you feel this way: “If someone wants to be apart of your life, they will make it happen… you are worth more than second thoughts and maybes”.
I don’t know about you all, but I have felt as the later quote says many times. I finally think I found my true friends and we’re constantly around each other almost 24/7, Inseparable. And then all of a sudden you barely speak to each other in passing… it hurts. You’re no longer there for each other. And it seems like you are always the one having to reach out to your friends and they just don’t reciprocate the generosity you’ve shown. You’re constantly wondering “what went wrong? What happened?” Often times than not if you can’t really remember what went down, than it must not have been that serious. Or if it was, it must not have been addressed properly or quickly enough.
So how can we stop from getting to that point of a dead end with friends? Can we rebuild the relationship? How do we make new friends? Let’s discuss a few points shall we?
Remember we all make mistakes. None of us are perfect and we all say or do stupid things. Therefore; we shouldn’t expect perfection from our friends. Matter of fact, we should expect problems! We all have families and we definitely know that no one in our household is perfect either. Yet, we still put up with our families. So to it should be with friends. If someone does something that offends you and causes a problem, be prepared to deal with the situation and try and squash the matter as quickly as possible. Keep in mind too that whatever you may be experiencing with someone, you may have even done yourself to someone else without realizing it.
Learn to forgive. If a friend, no matter how terrible, does something to us or says something against us, we must still forgive. Yeah easier said than done, but just give it some time. If they are genuinely sorry and try to rectify the matter, forgive. Don’t let that extra burden stay with you. Holding grudges ruins your health and relationships with others. Remember too that the longer a matter goes on without being rectified, the harder it becomes to forgive and easier to hold grudges. This is where rifts start.
Be trusting and Honest. Yes people in today’s world make it hard to be trusting. But among friends, that should always be there. Matter of fact it has to be in order to meet people. For example, when you first meet someone, you trust that when you ask for their name, they’re telling you what their name truthfully is. Makes sense right? People can sense when you have a lack of trust and that can keep others on edge around you.
So unless there is due reason to have a lack of trust, initially we always want to be have trust and also be trusted ourselves. That’s where honesty comes in. Lies can tear people apart like nobody’s business. Big or small. So no matter how hard it may be or even embarrassing, we need to be honest with our friends and with ourselves!
Just communicate. The most important thing we can do is keep in contact with our friends. No matter how far you may be from them. Miscommunication is one of the key causes of relationship breakdowns. ANY kind of relationship. So try your best to communicate. And if something is misunderstood then don’t be afraid to admit it and try to talk it out! That’s what friends and family do.
Why not take a minute out of your busy day to shoot a text to a friend even if just to say hi, or check on them! Write a letter, or if possible, make a quick stop at their house. You could even goes as far as inviting them to get a quick bite to eat when you both have a lunch break! Every little thing helps and the more you practice this, the more likely your friends will do the same to you in return! (Golden rule).
Now what if we don’t necessarily have any friends but would like to make some? Or maybe you’re just looking to add on to your current circle? No Problem!
Widen Out! “whaat? you mean I actually have to go and talk to people I don’t know and be nice?” Well in a sense yes! Now i’m not telling you to just go up to any ole random stranger and try to start up a conversation like you’ve known them your whole life (although I think i’d be pretty funny haha! also dangerous so don’t do it), but maybe your current friends have friends of their own that you’ve never met? Maybe you could plan a whole get together to meet some mutual friends! You know, like Facebook. Maybe you could take up a new hobby or major and join a class to meet others who have the same interests as you. Nothing brings people closer than failing miserably at the same thing! (Yeah I’m talking about you college anatomy..) Then again maybe all of you will succeed in that class. I don’t know, people do that too sometimes I guess. I wouldn’t know I don’t get that success feeling too often aha 😀 Moving on..
There are plenty of ways to make new friends. Go new places, try new things, join clubs, take your dog for a walk, and just be friendly. That can go a long way!
Another very important point that I’ve learned is also to just give things time, and give your friends some space. We all have to grow up. And that by itself can definitely cause some rifts and changes between us. Our interests change (weather we personally realize it or not) and what we used to enjoy doing together, we may not enjoy doing anymore. We may not be speaking to them at all times but that’s okay! We are still individuals and have to live our own life. Keep in mind that at times we really do need some alone time to just breath, think and recuperate and find ourselves. When your friends have dreams and goals, be happy for them and help them to achieve success. There is no room in a friendship for jealousy. True friends always find their way back to each other. A saying that I recently heard and appreciated is that “you have friends for a season and friends for a reason.” (Madea reference)
So maybe you are friends with some for a little while and then you’re not. But there is always something to be learned from others. So you enjoy for awhile, learn, and if you drift apart, just move on. Especially if you find that maybe they had some bad qualities that just wasn’t good for you. Who knows, maybe you’ll become friends again later down the line, and that’s fine! But don’t wait around for that. Be your own self, live your best life and the trues ones will flock to you!
Know some other ways to make friends? Let us know in the comments. Do you have some advice that has worked for you in dealing with friendships? Share that with us too!
Thanks for reading. Friends 🙂